I'm so alone...

Now just by reading the title you're probably thinking "oh no here's a pity rant, here we go" but in all seriousness I feel, I am alone. I've been away from a month now and that's all because I was away in Pakistan for my older sister's wedding... Who has now shifted to Singapore with her other half. I got back to London today landed at 4:05 5 minutes earlier to the appointed time. So that was nice I guess. Got back home and first thing I done was run to my cat who is now my only friend.

It's so hard to explain how I feel, I feel alone and not myself like I've become a shadow of myself I'm not happy at all. When I was in Pakistan surrounded by family I didn't have time to think about the absence of my sister but as soon as I got on the plane the tears have not stopped. I am ever so happy for her, she's never been this happy before in her entire life and I thank god every day for gifting such a wonderful blessing in her life. It's rested my nerves because I see how happy she is, so I don't have to worry about her but now I worry about myself. I hardly go out as it is and my sister was the one person who could drag me out of the house but my sister not being here is now besides the point as my friends are now all shifting to University and haven't really bothered to make friends out of that circle which is probably my own fault but still. It's really complicated my heart just feels really heavy with emotion as if it'll burst ah.

Apologies for such a ranty and upset post I'll be back with more of the usual stuff next week!

As always, peace & love 

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